But let us consider the back story:

Many years before, the Gateskeeper did hope to destroy his own Dosfish with the Entity, but the People had found the Entity confusing, and ugly, and requiring of much hardware. So the Gateskeeper said “Nay, it matters not, for the Entity was never meant for the Mere People, but for the great and wise Tribe That IS.”

And for the Mere People the Gateskeeper created but a better Window, that counted of 95, and hid the Dosfish inside. And that was followed by the Window of 98 Counts, and the Window of Me, and the Dosfish remained hidden inside, to let its existence be known with a mighty crash.

Now, as the Gateskeeper hid the Dosfish, there was cast upon the Pea Sea a mighty Net, weaved of the finest Inter. Verily, the Net was cast beyond the Pea Sea, so that even those who dwelleth in the Apple Orchid were caught and seduced by its mighty Web. And soon the People cared not if they used a Window or an Apple, so long as they were drawn into the seductive Web.

But the Gateskeeper did seek control over the Net and its Web, so he created the Network Both Micro and Soft, which the Mere People ignored. Indeed, the Mere People loved ignoring the Gateskeeper’s network so much they cried out “Yahoo!” And when they tired of crying “Yahoo,” they goggled the Google, and the land was never more the same.

So the Gateskeeper unleashed the Window of 2,000 Strong. Yet like the Entity, it attracted only the Tribe That IS.

When the Gateskeeper brought forth the Ex-Pea, he proclaimeth that it be not for merely the Tribe That IS, but for all the Mere People, and that the Dosfish would swim no more. And the People cried in joy, and exulted, and sang out “Ding, Dong, the DOS is dead!”

But a great plague descended upon the Pea Sea. And it brought forth viruses, and the wearing of ads. And Trojan horses appeared in such great numbers that people cried out “Beware of gifts bearing Greeks.” And spies crept into the Pea Sea to loggeth all the keys.

And those that lived in the Apple Orchard rejoiced, and proclaimed themselves great. And bowed down before the Mighty Steve to do his bidding and exult in his every word. And the Fruit challenged the Ex-Pea.

And so it came to pass that the Eunuchs, although they were Eunuchs and could not reproduce, gave birth to a Penguin. And although this Penguin was hard and had many skins, he was well-loved by those who could master him, for he was free at heart, and his source was open.

Now in those days the People believed not in cash, but their cards of credit flowed freely. So they filled their pockets, their pouches, their saddlebags, and their knapsacks with all manner of devices through which electricity flowed. And there were Palms, and devices of a Symbian relationship, and Berries Most Black.

Then the Mighty Steve, witnessing the many deserting his Apple Orchard for the Pea Sea, cried out “Behold! Let there be Pods!” And there were Pods. And the Mighty Steve proclaimed that the Pods were good, and called out “Because I have created the Pods, I shall call them I-Pods.”

And they spread in great numbers across the land.

The Mere People used their phones, and they talked, but they were not happy, for most of what they said on their phones was of great foolishness. And so they asked for tools that would maketh their phone calls heavy with intelligence, and they received Smart Phones.

All this while, the Gateskeeper worried. And cause he had to worry, because his Window was slow and filled with locusts, and his Ex-Pea was sore plagued by viruses, Trojans, and other works of evil. But worst of all, everyone now owned an Ex-Pea, and were buying new Ex-Peas not.

So the Gateskeeper ordered his Serfs of Redmond to create a new Window--one that would be more beautiful, easier to use, and safer than the Ex-Pea. But the Serfs cried out “That we cannot do.” And the Gateskeeper called forth to them “Then make it different, and I shall proclaim it more beautiful, easier to use, and safer.”

But lo, it took the Serfs of Redmond many years to create this new Window, so long, in fact, that the People cried that the Window was long in the tooth and long in the horn. But as the People waited, they explored the Net, were seduced by the Web, and even processed their words and numbers on their phones. And they wondered if they really needed the Long Horn, and the Ex-Pea, and even, perhaps, the Pea Sea.

And the Gateskeeper called the Long Horn Beautiful Vista, and he removed features, and he said that it was good.

And the People no longer wondered if they could get by without the Beautiful Vista, and without the Ex-Pea, and even, perhaps, without the Pea Sea. They just fervently hoped that they could.

© Copyright 2007 by Lincoln Spector