
The Tragedy of Macbill
Originally printed in Computer Currents March 10, 1992
| Act I: A deserted place [Enter three Hackers] FIRST HACKER: When shall we three meet again, SECOND HACKER: When the object's lost its OOP, THIRD HACKER: That shall be when day doth droop. FIRST HACKER: Where is the place? SECOND HACKER: Upon the hill. THIRD HACKER: There to meet with Macbill. FIRST HACKER: He comes, Badsector. ALL: Macbill comes--take care! [A3[Enter Macbill and Phillipo] MACBILL: So profita'l' a day I have not seen. FIRST HACKER: All hail, Macbill! hail to thee, lord of DOS! SECOND HACKER: All hail, Macbill! hail to thee, duke of Word! THIRD HACKER: All hail, Macbill! hail to thee, GUI king! [Exuent Hackers, magically] PHILLIPO: Like data on a bad disk they do go, MACBILL: What meanest this? Can prophesies come true? [Enter Messenger] MESSENGER: Good, my Lord, Macbill, I bring thee tidings MACBILL: A six-bit byte is smallish, so they say. [Exuent Macbill with Messenger] PHILLIPO: From BASIC birth is born a great rascal. [Exit] Act II: Macbill's castle [Enter Macbill and Great Duncan Bleu] DUNCAN: Tis so, Macbill; with DOS we've made great strides. MACBILL: Go now to other programmers and tell [Exit Duncan Bleu] MACBILL: Is this an hour glass I see before me? [Exit Macbill] Act III: A convention [Enter Phillipo] PHILLIPO: Thou hast it now: DOS, Word, GUI, and all [He steps into shadow. Enter Macbill and attendants.] MACBILL: Sirrahs, I fear my worst nightmare be true. FIRST ATTENDANT: My liege, for Pink, the people shall not wait. MACBILL: Perchance you speak the truth, but this I know: [Exuent Macbill and attendants] PHILLIPO: And so his plan, revealed now to me, [Exit] Act IV: A Cavern [Thunder. Enter the three hackers] FIRST HACKER: Thrice the harden'd disk hath cried. SECOND HACKER: Thrice and once the spreadsheet lied. THIRD HACKER: Program screams "By naught, divide!" FIRST HACKER: Round about the keyboard go; ALL: Boil, boil, toil and trouble, SECOND HACKER: By the pricking in my thumbs, [Enter Macbill] MACBILL:How now, you secret, black, and midnight hacks! ALL HACKERS: A file without a name. MACBILL: Whoe'er thou art, there's one thing I must know; FIRST HACKER: Be brave and bold. To others laugh with scorn. MACBILL: And what of Macintosh? FIRST HACKER: No, none. MACBILL: Tis fine. With these words I stand tall. [Exeunt] Act V: Macbill's castle [Enter Macbill and attendants] MACBILL: Set out our icons high upon the walls, [The attendants are frightened by something off stage, and exuent running. Enter the attacking army, with swords, led by Phillipo and D.R.] PHILLIPO: Now, D.R., we have him in our grip. [Macbill grabs a portable computer and holds it up as a shield] MACBILL: I fear not thy sword, nor code that thou may write. D.R.: Despair thy charm, [D.R. swings his sword, which smashes Macbill's computer.] MACBILL: Alas, I see the greatest of all terror. [He faints] PHILLIPO: He faints; our story endth not in death, [All exuent, bearing body.] © Copyright 1992 by Lincoln Spector |