Gigglebytes - Deadlier Than the Mail

Remember: Only the U.S. Post Office supports all fonts
Originally printed in Computer Currents June 3, 1997

Not so long ago, Internet email was merely a tool for sending words. Now, thanks to fonts, colors, and audio clips, it’s becoming a way to communicate.

To find out where Internet messaging is going today and will settle down tomorrow, I conducted an email interview with Ulysses N. Codeine, author of two best-selling books to be published next year.

Lincoln Spector: Ulysses, what are the basic challenges facing us in sending and receiving email messages that are more than just text?

Ulysses N. Codeine: Basically=@ Lincoln=@ it=9s a matte(0r=# of compatib=@#(ility=*%

LS: Sorry, Ulysses, but that didn’t come through.

UNC: @@@@@@@***********111111####0000Is^^^^^^
1111100000this000000)))))))))any@@@@@@@)))))))))))))better?++++++++

LS: Only if I want to get seasick. Can you send me an HTML-formatted message? My email program reads HTML.

UNC: <HTML><BODY>HTML?Sure, I can send you HTML.Do you want the Netscape or Microsoft version?</BODY></HTML>

LS: Um, could you just send me straight text?

UNC: Straight text? Well, okay, but that standard won’t be around for long.

LS: Well, let’s stick with it for now. So, Ulysses, what are the basic challenges facing us in sending and receiving email messages that are more than just text?

UNC: The basic problem is standards. There are about four or five incompatible standards for sending formatted text, and four or five incompatible variations on each of these. It’s clear that what we need is one universal standard that everyone will agree on, which is why I’m working on creating and publishing just that one.

LS: Great! In the meantime, could you tell me a little bit about MIME.

UNC: Sure. MIME is a standard for working with an intentionally limited set of communications media, such as making facial expressions but never speaking. MIME applications, which can be recognized by their stark-white interface, do their work in heavily-traveled thoroughfares where they annoy more conventional programs and ask for donations.

LS: As I understand it, there are several MIME standards out there. Could you tell me about the most common ones?

UNC: Of course. First, there’s Quoted Printable, which is based on the rule that if you quote something, it’s printable. Since just about any word is considered printable these days, that isn’t much of a problem, although things could get worse with the Communications Decency Act. Quoted Printable is used, for the most part, to add equal signs followed by meaningless symbols to the body of an email message.

Another important MIME standard is Base64, so called because it is based on 64 common assumptions--for instance, that most people using the Internet have a thorough understanding of Unix. For the most part, Base64 is used to send file attachments to people whose email programs only support UUencoding.

LS: Let’s talk a little bit about sending files attached to Internet messages. What exactly would happen if you were to, say, send me a word processing document?

UNC: It’s very simple, really. The first thing I would do, of course, would be to run the file through a common file compression program like WorthZip, shortening the time it takes for me to upload the file. Coincidentally, it will also shorten the time it takes you to download it, but that’s of no real concern. Then I’d drag the file into my email program and mail it to you--an automatic act that requires no excess intelligence.

That’s because all the interesting stuff happens in the background. My email program knows that it can’t send a binary file over Internet mail, so it uses standard HexOnU encoding to turn the file into something that looks to a computer like ASCII text. This conversion increases the size of the file, canceling out any good done by WorthZip.

When YOU receive the file, you discover that your email program, although it supports all of the other binary-file standards, can’t do a thing with HexOnU. So you prowl the Web until you find a shareware program that can decode HexOnU, such as NoBody Software’s DressCode. You install DressCode, run my message through it, and you have my compressed file.

That’s when you discover that WorthZip uses its own unique compression format, so you download and install a copy of that program, discover that it’s an old version that doesn’t support the latest file format, and download and install the latest version.

It’s only then that you discover that your word processor can’t read files created by mine.

LS: Sounds simple. One last question: Can you foresee a day when everyone will be able to easily and transparently send email messages with text formatting and file attachments over the Internet?

UNC: That day is already hear--pretty much anyone using a modern Windows or Mac-based email program can send such messages with no trouble at all. It’s receiving them that’s difficult.