There’s a wonderful, bright, and exciting future ahead for all of us in the fantastic, high-tech world of tomorrow. Thanks to new technologies in development right now at corporations concerned only with your happiness, you soon won’t even notice all the Internet-based machines around you, busily collecting data on your every move.

How different will the future be? For one thing, the personal computer as we know it today will be a thing of the past. Instead, every device you use to improve your life will come with its own, embedded PC. Think of it! Your car, television, and every appliance in your home will run Microsoft Windows—accept your toaster, which will use Linux.

Even the clock radio that wakes you up in the morning will be connected to the Internet, allowing your boss to set the time you start your day. And by monitoring your shopping habits, your radio will automatically know your musical tastes and play only newly-released recordings that you may want to buy. Right next to the handy snooze button will be an even handier button for purchasing the current song.

Your breakfast will be waiting for you when you get out of bed, all cooked to perfection by computers that know your eating habits and report them to the local grocer. And if your mocha comes out a bit too strong, don’t fret. Simply spend a few minutes with the coffee maker’s registry editor to debug the problem.

Tomorrow’s wonderful technology will allow your workday to begin as soon as you get into your car. A fold-out desktop-on-your-dashboard, complete with phone, fax, and teleconferencing capabilities, will add endless productive hours to your workday.

And who will be driving while you work? Why, your car’s computer, of course. Mapping software will point the way to your office, while the latest in portable Internet communications will keep it abreast of every compatible vehicle on the road. Think of it! You can relax and get your work done while your life is safely in the crash-free hands of Microsoft Windows!

Once you get to the office, new technology will make every aspect of your job unimaginably easier. Thanks to breakthroughs in voice recognition, just a few simple spoken words will let your boss track your work, movements, and water cooler discussions. In fact, your work may become so simple, you won’t even be needed!

Luckily, job hunting will also be a cinch in our computerized future wonderland. You won’t even need to write up a resume, since any company planning to hire you will have access to your entire work history, social standing, and everything every said about you by your first grade teacher. Come in for an interview? Why bother?

But the real high-tech fun begins when you get home from the office and relax for the evening. And relax is the word, since all of those bothersome chores that plague your free time today will be a thing of the past.

Food shopping? Forget about it! Your stove, refrigerator, and pantry will track what food you eat, and automatically e-mail your choices to the local supermarket, your doctor, and your mother. As your supermarket learns your tastes, it will be able to introduce new foods that match your culinary profile, delivering the items directly to your door and saving you from the hassle of checking calories or prices.

So instead of shopping, you’ll spend your evenings in front of your Internet-savvy television. After you boot up, log on, and enter your password, you’ll have your choice of over 5,000 entertaining programs, each arriving in its own exciting, revolutionary, up-to-the-minute video format. How will these technological miracles happen? Easy. Before you watch a new show, you’ll simply download and install its proprietary plug-in, which will configure your TV to just the way it needs it.

When you’ve had your fill of entertaining television shows—or have given up on trying to get your system to work —there’ll be only one thing left to make this the perfect day: a romantic interlude.

So you’ll go online to socialize, flirt, and maybe even share virtual sex with a titillating and loving companion you’d probably never want to meet in the flesh. What a time you’ll have together, typing sweet nothings, fondly caressing the mouse, and experiencing pleasures that will make old-fashioned love-making seem fit only for Luddites.

And thanks to anonymous chat technologies, your special romantic partner need never know who you really are. In fact, your amorous prose about football players in high heels, chorus girls in chainmail, and penguins in bondage will be completely unidentifiable to everyone except your boss, parents, kids, ex-spouse, and a few hundred telemarketers.

When you’ve had your fill of romance, it will be time to wash up and go to sleep. As the lights wink out automatically and your grope your way towards your bed, you’ll be able to relax with the knowledge that someone is watching over you. Don’t forget to say your prayers.

© Copyright 1999 by Lincoln Spector

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