Computers do lots of wonderful things. They can help you balance a budget or write the great American shopping list. They give you access to ever more annoying advertising. And they provide something to tinker with that’s less greasy than a car. But best of all, they play music.

First, there’s CDs, now referred to as audio CDs to distinguish them from the kind that insist on installing megabytes of code onto your hard drive and reconfiguring Windows. Playing a CD on your computer is as easy as giving bad advice to a tourist. You pop the CD into your CD-ROM drive (don’t ever call it a CD player unless you want to come off as technically ignorant, although if you call it a coffee cup holder, you’ll sound witty and urbane), close the door, and wait as the appropriate software kicks in entertain you with Mozart or Motley Crue.

But what software is the most appropriate? There are countless free audio CD players out there, some of them even worth the price. Take, for instance, PlayWithIt4Windows, which not only plays your audio CDs, but helps you catalog them. After you first install the program, you enter information on all of your CDs--including title, artist, tracks, and why you’ll never want to listen to this one again--into PlayWithIt4Windows’ database. You can track hundreds of CDs with this program, although after the first 32, PlayWithIt4Windows will delete old listings to make room for the new ones.

Whatever software you use, you’ll soon find it emotionally impossible to use your computer without constant music, making it difficult to use your CD-ROM drive to, say, access a CD-ROM. The only workable solution is to never use your CD-ROM drive for this purpose.

You’ve probably already heard of MP3, the music file format that, according to technology pundits, will destroy the music industry the same way Java destroyed Microsoft. Whatever its long-term effect, one thing is certain: MP3 is the greatest invention to hit audio recording since Liberace.

If you haven’t explored one of the major MP3 Web sites, such as www.lofi.com, you’re either missing the experience of a lifetime or are unnaturally intelligent. You can find an amazing selection of music at these sites, in every genre and sub-genre from Classical/String Quartets/Accordion to Rap/Hip Hop/R&B/White Supremacists.

If a song’s title and description seem promising, all you have to do to own a copy is click it and hope that your modem connection survives long enough to download a 5MB file. There’s no question about it: MP3 is having a revolutionary effect on how we use computers. It’s causing a major boom in high-speed Internet access.

Speaking of high-speed Internet access, there’s another, even more revolutionary way to listen to music on your computer: streaming audio. And streaming audio today means one standard: RealSoAndSo.

Do you need a high-speed Internet connection to listen to streaming audio? No, a modem does a fine job--especially if you enjoy hearing the occasional musical note between the silences as your connection tries to catch up with the data stream. But if you can afford DSL or a cable modem, you'll hear almost as much music as silence.

Either way, you’ll have to install RealSoAndSo before you can enjoy its benefits. The program is free, and the installation is easy—just run the program and it converts your computer into a RealSoAndSo playback machine that can’t do anything else.

One of RealSoAndSo’s more remarkable features of is that it lets you listen to radio online. The program comes with a large selection of channels, but the program’s true charm comes when you tune it an oldies station. Why? Because RealSoAndSo has a way of enhancing that nostalgic experience—it makes everything sound like its being played through the dashboard radio of ’63 Chevy. The frequent drop-outs and long silent stretches will take you back to the days of driving under bridges and through tunnels on your way to Makeout Lane.

Of course, listening to the radio via the Internet has the same downsides as listening to the radio the old-fashioned way. You will inevitably tune in a station just in time to hear the closing bars of a favorite song, followed by a DJ enthusiastically informing you that "We just wrapped up another hour of uninterrupted rock ‘n’ roll! And now, here’s an hour of uninterrupted commercials!" So you switch to something a little more cultured, where the announcer informs you that "You’ve been listening to all four operas of Wagner’s Der Ring des Nibelungen, complete and uninterrupted. And now, in the studio, we’ll be talking to Martin Marcheze, author of Borsht and Bassoons: The Stomach of Shostakovich. "

At this point, you might be tempted to switch off your speakers and use your computer for something like word processing. But what would be the point of that?

© Copyright 1999 by Lincoln Spector

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